Sex and Dating by Katy Horwood

In these days of the Feminazi, if you do get a date, be the perfect gentleman and don’t screw it up.


Men have a hard deal these days – and when it comes to manners, it seems they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t. From being called sexist for opening a door for their date to being labelled as a misogynist for liking a woman in heels.


Compliment a girl in the street? You’re catcalling. Insist on paying for dinner? Good luck with that one.


From dating to dinner, etiquette today is a minefield and its little wonder we all want to give up and go home.


However, there is good news. Not all women are waiting to jump on the Feminazi bandwagon and publicly shame you on Twitter for paying them a compliment – some of us still like a gentleman, a man with manners and charm.


Trying to navigate the blurred lines of dating etiquette these days? Here are 9 golden rules to being the perfect gentleman on a first date.



Picking up the phone 


Whether you met online or in ‘real life’ actually having a conversation before a date is a must. Yes, texting is easy and by most people’s lazy-modern-day standards, the more convenient option. However, actually picking up the phone and having a conversation with your date is a no brainer for men with manners – and actually a five minute phone call will tell you more about your new date than endless texts ever will.


Picking a venue that’s convenient for her 


The easiest way to tell that a man has no manners? Gauge the distance between his house and the venue he has chosen for your date. Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration but really, if you can’t be bothered to jump on the tube and travel to a venue which is convenient to her then it says a lot about the amount of effort you are likely to put into a relationship in the future.


Choose the venue 


Google ‘bars & restaurants ‘in London and the search results number 242 million results.


Just saying.


Turn up on time 


Time-keeping is a manners basic. Sure, life is hectic, things happen and people can be forgiven for the odd ten minutes either way but leaving your date waiting, with nothing but a barman and a dry white wine for company, won’t score you any brownie points (the barman might thank you for it though.)


Opening the door


Old-fashioned – check, out-dated – check, really romantic and totally charming – abso-bloody-lutely.


And that goes for pulling a chair back, standing up when she leaves the table and walking on the road side of the pavement. In a world gone PC mad, sometimes it’s the little gestures which will be remembered the most (and don’t cost a penny).


Talking of money … 


There is no easy way to say it, when it comes to a first date – it’s your job to pick up the bill. Of course, once further into a relationship, things relax a bit and your date should chip in or go halves, but on a first date – if you really want to seal the deal, it’s your job to cover the cheque.


If you can’t afford a big slap up meal then go to a nice bar for a few drinks – it’s much sexier to cover the costs of a couple of rounds than get your calculator out over dinner. And if you find that multiple dating in your search for ‘the one’ is leaving you broke, then might I suggest, you become a little more selective about who you ask out


Quality not quantity, my friend.




Regardless of whether you intend to see your date again, seeing that your date gets home ok is a given from a man with manners.

Taxi, tube, bus, chauffeur — whatever her transport of choice, make sure she’s on it and not standing in the middle of Soho at 11pm on a Saturday night.


Leaning in


To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question – and if the night has gone well and she’s sending of flirty vibes, hell yeah – lean in, who doesn’t love a good snog from a perfect gentleman.


Post-date manners 


Had fun but didn’t feel any chemistry? Liked her but she didn’t tick all the boxes? No problem, everybody on the dating scene knows that meeting a person you have genuine chemistry with can take time (and energy!) but, again, even if you didn’t feel a spark between you, it’s manners to send a “thanks but no thanks” text – not only does this show that you appreciated the evening – but that you’re adult enough to wrap it up properly.


And you might not get another date but you’ll get ten out of ten for manners every time.